Thursday, April 16, 2015

MY ADVENTURES IN TIME TRAVEL


This is a true story. Back in 1980, I was 18 years old and devised a way to communicate with my future self using a special radio that, when combined with strong aurora borealis events, altered spacetime in a way that allowed me to send radio waves through time and communicate with my future self. I recently came across one of my journal entries from 1980 and want to share it with both my readers.

April 15, 1980. The latest communications with my future self involve the evolution of technology over the next 35 years. The year is 2015. The pace of technological development is both disappointing (no flying cars or robot servants) and incredibly exciting. The best news is that my future self has somehow managed to avoid prison and rehab and married a beautiful woman. I can’t wait to tell mom!

In 2015, there are dozens of satellites orbiting 12,5000 miles above the planet that communicate with “smart telephones” carried in the pockets of nearly everyone. These computers communicate with these satellites in order to pinpoint your exact location at any point on Earth. The same technology can be used to give people directions to points of interest via a television screen that fits in the palm of the hand! In the future, when someone tells me to “get lost”, it will be impossible to do!

Sending a letter through the postal service is considered “quaint” in 2015. Love letters and business communications are now sent instantly through cables and satellites via a process called “electronic mail.” My future self actually communicates regularly with people in Shanghai, China. The same handheld computer used for navigation translates Chinese to English in real time. Language is no longer a barrier for the human race!


Cars that drive themselves are making headlines in 2015. I also have spotty communications with my 2040 self (The spottiness is evidently related to a weird radioactive disturbance centered around present-day Iran). Those communications suggest that, sometime between 2015 and 2040, it will become illegal for humans to drive their own cars. Computer drivers are evidently much safer.

In 2015, a significant percentage of the planet’s population has instant access to the entire human race’s body of knowledge. If one needs to know something, they can simply speak their question into a handheld or home computer and instantly become educated on any subjects. Anyone on the planet can sit in front of a computer and take a college level course from a Nobel Prize winning professor! Unfortunately, people instead use that miraculous technology to learn new jokes and trade insults.

My future self shared his disappointment that so many people of his era take all these miraculous developments for granted. I hope that I will grow up to appreciate these technological wonders and share that enthusiasm with everyone I know. Maybe I’ll choose a career in technology or write newspaper articles or something.

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